The River

At the edge of your world is a river...

You may have heard this river in the quiet moments just before sleep as you review the day past and think about the days to come. Sometimes it visits you in dreams - appearing now as a river, now as the ocean, now as the love in a long-forgotten partner's eyes. The sound is like the brush of angel's wings, the moon call of the coyote, the crying of a new-born baby. It is wistful, pleading, melancholy. It teases you, cajoles you, and lures you in. It holds promise and pain, salvation and loss. It calls to you even now, do you hear it?

The river has always been there, just on the edge of your awareness. When you have tried to focus on it, deeply listening for its heart song, it fades a little farther into the background. Always there, but not.

Sometimes, you just wished it would go away. Sometimes you think you might go mad trying always as you are to hear it just a little more clearly. Is it real? Does it exist?

There is no river. It is only a dream, a trick of the mind. All you have is the here and now. All else is illusion. Forget this river. Nothing good can come of this. Look at all that you have here. Look at all you have achieved, accomplished, all the people that love you just as you are. Turn back now. Forget this crazy idea and go to sleep. All will be better in the morning.

Unable to sleep, you rise from your bed and walk outside to gaze upon the newly risen full moon. You wonder what else the moon shines on tonight. What distant lands are bathed in her golden light? What other souls look upon her and wonder, "What if?"

Still, the river calls. Perhaps you have seen the river, journeyed to its edge and stood there transfixed in awe at its power. "If I step into this river, it could wash me away and I might drown" you thought. Something about the river seemed to pull you in. At the same time, you backed away in fear. "Not now, not today," you thought. "Perhaps another time. Perhaps when I am stronger, then I will dive in and swim to the other side. Or, maybe I will build a boat and float in its current allowing the river to take me downstream to new worlds that I have never seen before. Perhaps I will follow the river up-stream to its source. There I will lie down by the nurturing spring that gives it life. I'll drink its sweet water and be refreshed as its coolness courses down my throat. I will baptize myself in its pure essence. I will know what the river is and in knowing this river, I will somehow come to know myself. Perhaps then, I will understand why it haunts me so. Perhaps then, I will be at peace."

Is today the day you begin the journey? Is today the day you come to know the river?

The river is still there. It waits for you. The river is patient. It can wait forever. Can you?